Notes
To Lead, you have to Follow
- if there is something you disagree with, but only in a minor way, let others take the lead figuring that out
- give your support quickly to other leaders trying to make improvements. Even if you disagree with their initial approach, someone trustworthy leading a project will almost always get to a good outcome. If someone trustworthy is leading a project, and you’re still uncomfortable letting them move forward, consider why you lack confidence in your ability to influence them and if you’re bad at giving feedback
- Make your feedback explicitly non-blocking. This can be classifying a code review comment as an “optional nit,” but it can also be writing up detailed feedback but delivering it to someone mentioning that you wanted to share your perspective rather than necessarily change their approach
Learn to never be wrong
“Most folks have worked with someone who thinks they’re never wrong. In each discussion, they lean in, broaden their shoulders and breach their way into the role of the decider. They’ll continue debating until their perspective wins the day or time runs out. They are often right, but right in a way that sucks the oxygen out of the room. As their tenure at a company increases, they may fancy that they’ve become very persuasive, but frequently it’s a form of persuasion characterized by the resignation of their peersboobookk”
- listen, clarify and read the room
- listening through questions
- if you’re in a conversation with an unclear goal, define the goal
Create Space for Others
- move from being essential to adjacent
- shift your contributions towards asking questions
- if you see someone in the meeting who is not participating, pull them into the discussion, but only one at a time
- be the one to take notes
- if someone is missing from the discussion, pull them in next time
Decisions
- write them down, as well as the thinking process
- get feedback early
- separate style from substance
- don’t try to show value
- allow yourself to change your mind
Build a Network of Peers
Be Visible
- write a lot, publicly
- speak publicly